Have you noticed how slot car racers have their own special language? Over the past couple decades of this crazy hobby/sport, we've developed our own special collection of terms that we use & abuse in our racing endeavors. I'm sure you've heard all the fuss over the new thing in the Oakland schools to teach urban slang -now referred to as "ebonics"... Well now you can also catch up on slot car racing slang with Old Weird Herald's course in slot car racing jargon:

Beer: Winding flux, building flux, bite flux, thrashers flux; racer's Kool-Aid.

Bite: Traction, eating it, or what racers go for immediately after a race.

Unstripable fuzzies: Found on tongue after all night thrash.

Geek: Slot racing newcomer, uninformed racer, or, old-timer who still can't solder on a pinion.

Geek Speak: The misinformed babblings of an uninformed racer.

P.K. Blank: What the editor of this rag gets when trying to write.

Jet Flag: Japanese expression for results of flying in plane too long.

Bye: Considered normal in San Fransisco Bay area.

Spring Tension: When you can't get a date in March.

Set Screw: Lotus position, refer to Kama Sutra.

Track Call: When your mother, girl friend, or wife has the number of the raceway.

Spacers: Old Weird Herald's contributing editors.

Hood Alignment Bar: Where Fred goes for attitude adjustment.

Brush Hood: What Fred does in the morning.

Air Gap: The space between a slot racers ears.

Filtered air gaps: Something Capillary is out of.

Return Path: Something hard to find after too many beers (see Hood Alignment Bar).

Glue Job: What you get from a date that uses excessive Dentu-Grip.

Bogged: One too many dates with above person.

Stick It: Frequent reply of turn marshals.

Herman Pans: New type of Corning ware from former Hermit.

Bus Bars: A ploy to desegregate local watering holes.

Electric Discharge: Emissions from a cyborg.

Wall Blast: Too much brakes suddenly; a small contained nuclear explosion.

Launch: Contributing factor to wall blast. Beginning of space shuttle flight.

Thrash: Slot racers S&M.

Pillow Block: Brain fade caused from over-night thrash; block found at bottom of guillotine.

Sludge: Found between the ears of racer with pillow block; usually after all night thrash.

Hex: What you try to put on competing racers car.

Norelco Gears: Something Jim "Turkey-man" Stevens is still looking for.

Carbonell Wire: Something Canada Dan bought.

Choke: Gag; periods of brain fade; or an unwanted necessity at nuclear sub-stations.

Brain Fade: Loss of motor control functions at inopportune times, like during qualifying, or an important heat.

Spoiler: Last guy up to qualify that cuts you out of the Semi-main on his fourth back-up time.

Side Dam: Only use of word not resulting in lap penalties during a race.

Bite Bar: Nearest watering hole to raceway serving hors d'oeuvers.

Plumber: Hopefully not needed at major race.

Body: Usually found dead in corners when your car crashes.

Turn Marshal: Person into verbal abuse.

Race Director: The person that's always wrong or always right.

Green Can: Bathroom at raceway not cleaned since the sixties.